


i'm beginning to see the light

by prettyboyrollins



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Birthday Presents, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-19 03:53:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13696323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyboyrollins/pseuds/prettyboyrollins
Summary: Nora thinks birthdays aren't that special in the Commonwealth. Deacon goes out of his way to prove her wrong.





	i'm beginning to see the light

**Author's Note:**

> oh my gosh i'm really, really proud of this one.
> 
> i'm still mad you can't romance deacon in fallout 4, because he's one of the best companions and i love him almost as much as i love hancock.
> 
> this was inspired by my nora in my game, and my absolute love of ["i'm beginning to see the light"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udjA9Pk3LMU%22) by the ink spots and ella fitzgerald.
> 
> spoilers for the railroad ending

The weather in the Commonwealth had finally started to warm up – Hubflowers were blooming again, there were birds for Dogmeat to chase, and Sanctuary’s farmland was visible at last as the snow had melted away. That’s why they’d been spending the past few nights in Whisper’s old house – she’d wanted to make sure the plants had made it through winter, and that there were enough seeds in the workshop just in case some hadn’t; she always found the time to take care of her people, even while helping the newly escaped Synths and Desdemona and even _Carrington_ , and Deacon really, really admired that about her. She seemingly carried the weight of the Commonwealth on her shoulders, and she did it with such grace and poise you’d never even know.

She checked her Pip-Boy while Deacon crouched down to scratch behind Dogmeat’s ears. “We gonna head out, boss?” he asked, trying his hardest to ignore the sad whimper from in front of him. It killed them both to leave the little guy behind – but it killed Whisper more to see him hurt in the field, he knew that for sure.

“Yeah – I think I’m gonna swing through a couple settlements and check on ‘em.” She paused, eyes glancing at her map one last time. “Oh, shit – it’s almost my birthday.”

Well, that certainly wasn’t what he expected to follow _oh shit._ “What?”

“It’s almost my birthday. I’ll be… _Christ._ I’ll be two hundred and thirty-two years young. I don’t suppose you guys have many huge birthday parties these days.” Whisper chuckled, but Deacon could tell it wasn’t really genuine; there was an edge of sadness to it, and that just wouldn’t do.

“You’d be surprised,” he said, adjusting his sunglasses a little as he stood back up – his knees cracked and he winced, which got a _real_ laugh out of her. _Good._ “We can still throw a damn good party – gimme a few days, sugar, and I’ll blow your mind.”

Her eyes widened. “Sugar?” She gave him a questioning look, but he just shrugged it off. It had slipped out, but he wasn’t about to take it back.

She sighed. “Well, with an offer like that, how can I say no?”

 ***

They were heading to Revere, listening to the radio like she always insisted – “the silence of the world makes me anxious,” she’d explained one night as they headed to the Public Library. “It was never this quiet before. I’m just… on edge if I can hear the wind.” – when that song about rain by The Ink Spots came on. Whisper sighed, as she did every time, but this instance, Deacon decided to try his luck and pry a little info out of her. “You always sigh when this song comes on,” he started, reloading his gun as they walked. “Why’s that?”

She looked almost startled, as if she hadn’t expected anyone to actually notice that about her. “What? I don’t.” Deacon gave her a look that said _I know you better than that, don’t lie,_ and her answering look conceded her defeat. _Bingo._ “Oh, uh… it reminds me of my favorite song from before the war.” She knelt down to pluck a Hubflower from the ground, tucking it in her bag. He had no idea why, but Whisper had a way of finding purpose for all kinds of junk. “I haven’t heard it since before the bombs dropped, and Travis doesn’t have it. I asked last time I was in Diamond City. I guess I just gotta deal with never hearing it again. It’s hardly the end of the world.” She chuckled, but it was tinged with just enough sadness to pull at Deacon’s heartstrings.

Whisper never discussed pre-war life all that often – when she offered up information from before “the big freeze” as he’d dubbed it, it was always anecdotal: Moe Cronin’s idea of baseball was all wrong, people used to sit around TVs every night to watch people play games for money, kids would swarm to Hubris Comics every Wednesday to pick up the new issue of Grognak. It was rarely personal; he could count the times on one hand that she’d talked about what _she_ loved before the war. And after running away from Swan, and hearing about why she’d wanted to go to the Common in the first place, well, he couldn’t really blame her. Seeing the shithole it was now, compared to her first real date with Nate, had to hurt. She’d cried that night while she told him about how they rode the swan boats and kissed in the gazebo, and he’d hated every second of it. He’d made sure to curl up next to her that night at Mercer Safehouse, offering comfort if she wanted it; she did, in the end, and they both slept better than they had in ages.

“What was the song like?” he asked, a plan hatching in his brain. “Maybe if I try, I can manage to sing it for you.”

She rolled her eyes and straightened up, dusting off her knees. “I don’t think the odds are in your favor, Dee, but hey. Go right ahead. It was… god, it was this real sweet old love song by The Ink Spots and Ella, and it was called something like ‘I’m Starting to See the Light’ or something. I… Nate and I danced to it once. Just… nostalgia. I’ll get over it eventually.”

A couple gunshots broke the silence, and they both froze, perking up.

“C’mon, we gotta check on County Crossing,” she whispered, and Deacon nodded, following her lead just like always.

 ***

When they said goodbye in Goodneighbor – “MacCready and I got some issues to take care of with the Gunners.” “Aw, picking a fight without me? Be safe, Whisper.” – Deacon had had every intention to head back to Railroad HQ to wait impatiently for the next time she breezed in and asked for his company.

But then he remembered his plan. Daisy was pre-war, after all, and he knew he could charm her pretty easy. They had a good rapport.

“How’s my favorite pre-war beauty?” he asked as a greeting as he walked into her store, and all Daisy could do was laugh and shake her head.

“I don’t know, how is Nora? You see her more than me.”

Deacon hid his grimace. He had no idea he was being that obvious. Usually his poker face was better than that – and hell, if he didn’t have his poker face, he’d be dead by now. “Ha ha, Daisy, very funny.”

“You know me. Now what brings you in? Surely you can’t be here just to flirt with me.”

“You’re right. I need a favor.” He leaned on the counter and sighed. “I need to find something pre-war, and well, you’re my best bet.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh? What’s that?”

“An old record. It’s Whi- it’s Nora’s birthday soon, and she said something about missing her favorite song, so I figured I’d try and find it for her.” He knew he was blushing a little bit, and Daisy’s smile only made it worse. “C’mon, she’s a friend. She’s been through so much, I just wanna give her a little bit of home.”

“That’s honorable of you, Deacon. Which is _why_ I’m so surprised.” She kept smirking, and Deacon just glared. She wasn’t fazed. “There used to be a record store over by Diamond City – just a little bit north, right on the river across from the old CIT campus. If anything survived, it’d be there. Last I heard, no one had raided it – records ain’t exactly useful these days – but maybe things’ve changed.”

That was a lead, and he could definitely work with a lead. “Daisy, you’re a gem. Thank you.”

“If you find it, you come back here and tell me – and then tell Travis, so he can mix up what he’s got playin’ on the radio. I’m gettin’ sick of the same old songs all the time.”

“Will do.”

 ***

The record store was still there, windows shattered and everything inside covered in a thin layer of dust. The contents of the shelves had been thrown across the floor, and most of the records were in pieces. As soon as he saw the scene, Deacon lost most of the hope he’d had; but if Whisper had taught him anything, it was that holding onto hope wasn’t always a bad thing.

He gingerly climbed in through a window, glass shards and broken vinyl crunching beneath his feet. A feral sat up in the back, and Deacon took care of him with one shot. He waited to hear if he had any other company, and when he was met with silence for a few minutes, he decided it was safe.

He sifted through everything, looking for anything by The Ink Spots or any song with “light” in the title – he found a couple copies of songs that Travis already had in his rotation, which wouldn’t do him any good. He found lots of Ella Fitzgerald records – well, he found lots of _halves_ of Ella Fitzgerald records, but anything broken was obviously useless.

He was about to give up when he found one last piece that said “I’m Beginning to See the Light” – but it was just a piece, and he threw it on the ground in frustration before crawling back out through the window and heading towards Diamond City for the night.

He got there as darkness settled over the Commonwealth, and after a bowl of noodles from Takahashi, he headed to Nick’s office to check if he was in and ask for a place to stay.

“I don’t have a lotta room, but you’re welcome to sleep in a chair if you want. I’m gonna be stayin’ up to look at cases, though.”

“Whatever you need to do, Nicky, beggars can’t be choosers.”

It was later than Deacon would’ve liked when he spoke up, realizing that Nick might have another lead for him. “Hey, Nick, you know where I could find any pre-war stuff that survived? It’s almost Nora’s birthday, and I thought…”

“You’d give her a little reminder of how things used to be?” Nick sounded like he _knew,_ and that threw Deacon off. He _really_ had to get better at hiding his feelings. He used to be excellent at it, and yet Whisper had fucked that all up. It was frustrating.

“Yeah, exactly.”

“Well, depending on what it is, I’d say Vault 81’s your best bet. Her and I ended up in there a while back – they got a whole host of stuff, all of it almost pristine. The folks in there’ll trade with you, too, if you say you’re a friend of Nora’s.”

A _vault._ That was perfect – why hadn’t he thought of that? _C’mon, Deacon, you used to be good at this._ “Is it far from here?”

“I’m not lettin’ you leave before morning – Nora’d kill me if you got yourself hurt ‘cause I sent you out in the dark. But it’s not far – little bit north and west of here. They’ll stop you at the gate, just tell ‘em Nick and Nora sent you, they should let you in no problem. If they push, tell ‘em you wanna trade.”

“Got it.”

 ***

The Overseer for Vault 81 had been hard to persuade, but she eventually let him in – only after he’d offered to leave his weapons at the door; he hated that, he felt too exposed, but it was worth the risk. Plus, he had a tiny knife tucked in his pocket, and he was pretty damn good with one even though he hadn’t been stuck using one since he started travelling with Whisper – she hated close combat with a passion, and that’d rubbed off on him. Still, he’d be fine.

The family that ran the little shop looked at him like he was crazy, but lucky for him, someone else overheard his weird request.

“I think I know where you can look,” she’d said. “I’m Tina de Luca. Your friend helped me and my brother out – let me return the favor.”

“Oh! Well, sure. I won’t turn down that offer – I’m kinda at a loss here.”

He followed her into the residential area, down a few long hallways and into a storage room. “A bunch of this stuff used to be stored in the Overseer’s area, but McNamara wanted a lot of it out of her way – said it was junk. I think there was a box of records in here.”

Deacon headed to a stack of crates and opened the top one, finding a bunch of old books in remarkably good condition. Oh, Daisy would love this. “You said Nora helped you out?” He started sifting through the books, trying to see if there was anything vaguely record-shaped to pull out. No luck.

“Oh, yeah. My brother was… he was hooked on chems.” Deacon raised his eyebrows as he moved onto another crate. “It was gonna kill him. It almost got a kid here killed, too, and I… I needed him to get help. She convinced him to go into treatment.” That shocked him – Nora wasn’t one to shy away from chems, as much as he hated it, and she hung around with _Hancock._ “I got my brother back thanks to her. This is literally the least I can do.”

“She’s a good person,” he said, and he felt like he was making the biggest understatement of the century. She was so much more than just a good person, but now wasn’t the time to wax poetic about how wonderful she really was. “She’s done a lotta good for everyone in the Commonwealth.” The crate he’d been staring into was full of knick-knacks, and he closed it.

“Bingo!” Tina almost shouted, pulling a box down from a shelf. “Here you go – I don’t know what’s in here, but hopefully it has whatever song you need for her. I gotta get back to work, but if you find it, take it. We won’t miss it here.”

Deacon sat on the floor after Tina left, pulling out a stack of records and sifting through it. Most of it was stuff he’d never heard of – or stuff he’d heard all too often on the radio – but it was the best he would find. If he couldn’t find the song he needed, maybe he could find something similar.

After twenty minutes of searching and dwindling hope, he found it. He could hardly believe it, but there it was – shiny black vinyl in his hands, black and gold label telling him everything he wanted to hear. “I’m Beginning to See the Light” by The Ink Spots and Ella Fitzgerald in perfect condition. He could’ve cried with joy right there in the storage room of a strange vault – but he was dignified, and held himself together.

He slipped out of the vault almost unnoticed – he wasn’t trying to, he was just used to being sneaky – and headed towards the North End. Knowing Whisper, she’d be at Railroad HQ in the morning to pick him up, and he’d be able to surprise her on her 232nd birthday with a present she’d never expect. It would be worth all the teasing from Drummer Boy and Tinker Tom to see the look on her face when she heard her old favorite song for the first time in two centuries.

 ***

Deacon managed to slip into a stupor as he followed the Freedom Trail – it was old habit, he supposed, and he knew the way was clear because Whisper had shot her way through it to find them. Raiders weren’t stupid enough to clog the path up again, and if he stayed far away from the pond, Swan wouldn’t bother him either.

He wondered how different things had been back when Whisper had visited – maybe she’d come as a kid, visiting the park when it was big and not full of radiation and giant mutated monsters. Maybe she’d gone to the State House to see the government – or maybe she’d visited the Old State House to learn about history. It’d been a museum once, that much he knew, and the coat and hat Hancock wore had been on display, even after the bombs dropped. She may have gone shopping at Faneuil Hall, or the Old Corner Bookstore, or…

Maybe he should ask her about it. He desperately wanted to see the city through her eyes; she often spoke of it with a sort of reverence, a deep love that hadn’t gone away, even after all the devastation she’d witnessed. She still considered this place home, even with the host of new, hostile residents and the lack of decent amenities. He knew Whisper was adaptable, and he’d known that since he’d started tailing her back at Bunker Hill, but she’d taken to the wasteland with a lot more ease than he’d ever expected. That’s what made him vouch for her to Desdemona – and it was a pretty fuckin’ good move, ‘cause the Institute was now a giant hole in the ground and Synths were finally free to have lives. She had an impact even greater than a nuclear blast, if you asked him, and he would gladly follow her into danger for the rest of his life – as long as she wanted him to, of course.

He stumbled into the Railroad’s headquarters, slipping out of the lab coat he’d been using as a disguise and heading to his stash of clothing, slipping on the old pompadour wig he’d worn when he first met Whisper. She teased him playfully when she found out it was a wig, but she’d told him he was still handsome without it. “But I gotta say, the pompadour suits you, Dee.”

He’d wear it for her birthday. Just in case his surprise fell flat.

At some point he fell asleep in the chair he’d sat in, exhausted from the trek halfway across the city, and every other member of the Railroad worked around him; Deacon was one of the best heavies they had, and everyone knew it. Disturbing his rest was counterproductive, even if Tinker Tom was tempted to scare him awake.

Instead, Whisper did it by shaking his shoulder gently. “Dee. Deacon. Wake up.”

He almost jumped out of the chair. “What? Wh- oh. It’s just you.” He fixed his sunglasses and pretended he wasn’t terrified for a split second. Whisper’s little smile told him she wasn’t fooled.

“You ready to head out? It’s my birthday. I wanna do something fun – take out some raiders or sit at the top of Mass Fusion and pick off supermutants with a sniper rifle. I just upgraded the scope, so if you wanna test it out…”

She was excited, and that was a rare sight these days. She’d been busy saving the world and then she ended up with a kid to take care of on top of everything else; he treasured the glee on her face. “Hell yeah – just… I wanna swing through Diamond City real quick. Buy you some noodles for your birthday.”

“I could go for that, actually. Especially if _you’re_ treating.”

 ***

Deacon made sure Whisper was seated at the noodle bar and that the radio was on before he slipped away. “Gotta use the bathroom,” he said, heading for the security office but veering left towards Travis’ house. Travis was alarmed to see him, unsurprisingly, and when Deacon handed him the record he’d been protecting, his eyes lit up. “Please just play this. Dedicate it to Whisper. That’s all you gotta know.”

“Oh. O-okay, I can do that.”

“And, uh, play it a few times in a row. Just in case.” He pulled out a handful of caps. “For your trouble.”

Travis took the caps eagerly and nodded. “Got it. Whisper. Play it a few times. I should… I definitely can do that? Should I say who requested it?”

“Nah. She’ll know.”

He was back by Whisper’s side as Takahashi placed the noodles at their seats, and he knocked his shoulder against hers; she’d left the spiky raider gear at home, and instead had settled for an old green dress – clearly she didn’t anticipate starting any trouble for the time being. She looked nice, and he made a mental note to tell her that at some point before the day was through. “Happy birthday, Wh- Nora.”

She looked up at him with wide eyes when he used her real first name. “You never call me that,” she said quietly. “What did you do, Dee?”

_“And now we’ve got a new song, and I’m supposed to dedicate it to someone called Whisper. I don’t know what kinda… name that is, but uh. This is for you. Also, um, I don’t mean that that’s a dumb name, it’s just unusual? I didn’t mean to insult you, and, uh… I’m just gonna play the song for you now.”_

_That_ got her attention, and as soon as the first few notes played, she was crying. But he could tell, because he knew her so damn well, that they were happy tears for once. “Deacon. You…”

“Happy birthday, Nora.”

She wiped at her eyes and shook her head. “How did you find it?”

“I have my ways.” He owed Nick Valentine a drink or whatever the appropriate equivalent would be, and he owed Tina de Luca even more. He’d wander back to the vault eventually, and bring her food or booze or cigarettes or something. Whatever she wanted.

“I can’t believe you did this for me.” Nora’s voice was so genuinely touched, so thankful, and Deacon couldn’t really process it properly. He shrugged, trying to play it off as cool, but Nora wrapped him in a hug. “Thank you. Seriously. I owe you – this is the nicest thing anyone’s done for me.”

Now that couldn’t be true. “One, you don’t owe me. You put up with my bullshit, and oh yeah, you saved the Commonwealth and protected my friends – my _family_ – in the process. That covers it, sugar.” The nickname slipped out again, but he didn’t let that slow him down. “Two, this isn’t the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for you. I didn’t really _do_ all that much. Someone else had to beat this before the war.”

“Nope. Not even close.” Nora looked almost defiant. She was so sure of herself. “This was thoughtful. No one was _ever_ this thoughtful. You… I wish I could show you how much this means to me.”

The song started over, and Nora hopped to her feet, noodles forgotten on the bar. “Could you heat those up in a moment, Takahashi? I have something I want to do.”

Deacon’s brow furrowed, and then he was being dragged off his stool. What was she _doing?_

“Put your hand here,” she instructed, placing his right hand on her hip and lacing their fingers together on their left hands. “Now follow my lead.” And then they were dancing in the middle of Diamond City while she hummed along.

He’d never been more in love.

He hadn’t even admitted to himself he’d been in love yet, but now it was unavoidable. He’d never been more in love with her than he was now, and he was very happy to have sunglasses to hide his eyes. He wouldn’t be able to hide it if he didn’t have them on.

“Y’know, when I met you, I never thought we’d find the time to go dancing like this.”

“Oh, you thought about us going dancing?”

_Dammit._

“Have you seen yourself? Of course I did. I’ve never met another woman who could take down a Brotherhood knight while barely breaking a sweat – well, except Glory, but she would’ve killed me if I tried to take her dancing.”

Nora threw her head back and laughed, and it was practically music. “That’s a good answer, but it wasn’t the one I was looking for.”

“Oh, now what was that?”

She didn’t answer him right away – she was too busy singing the end of the song – but when she did, Deacon’s heart skipped a beat or two.

“You were supposed to say ‘of course, Nora, ‘cause I’ve wanted you for a very long time.”

He almost choked on his tongue when he tried to answer. “Well. Uh.” He cleared his throat a few times, and she just looked up at him, smiling and innocent, all the while. “You’re not wrong. Just a little more forward than I ever planned on being.”

“You never planned on telling me, so yeah, I’m being more forward.”

He sometimes forgot she knew him just as well as he knew her. This time, it wasn’t so bad. “So let me get this straight. You’ve wanted this too, but you never said anything?”

“Since you gave me your recall code, yeah.”

He felt almost dizzy. Travis was rambling on the radio again, but it all faded out to white noise. Nora was smiling at him, red hair framing her freckled face, and she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. This beautiful woman who woke up in a strange new world and never once let fear paralyze her. Even after all his lies, and his shitty past, she _still_ wanted him.

 _Screw it,_ he thought. Desdemona would probably have some complaints, and he knew Drummer Boy would lose the bet he was sure he’d made with Tom and Carrington, but he wasn’t letting this absolutely perfect chance pass him by. He leaned down and kissed her, right in the center of Diamond City where everyone could see. She pressed up into it, a grin still on her lips, and Deacon was in heaven.

They only pulled apart when Takahashi asked _"Na-ni Shimasho-ka?"_ again, and they realized their noodles would only get colder if they didn’t sit and eat – and there was really no point in wasting caps.

That didn’t mean Deacon let go of her hand, and he squeezed it once after they sat down. “Happy birthday, sugar.”

The name fit her, he decided, ‘cause the kiss she pressed to his lips after that was sweeter than anything he’d ever tasted before.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading and please let me know what you think! i hope i managed to get deacon's voice right.


End file.
